We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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