...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
