I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
