she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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