If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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