Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
