Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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