this just has baby written all over it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
