You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
