I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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