so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
