A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
