...so i touched it.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
