I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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