i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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