Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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