Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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