Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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