what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
