i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
