One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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