took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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