clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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