I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
