i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
