Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
