I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
