I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
