so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Someone signed my nipple.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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