Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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