i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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