She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize