I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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