he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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