you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
