We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
