Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
