You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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