Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
