i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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