i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
