sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
