no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i need some magic done to my vagina
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
