Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
