Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
