I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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