Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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