Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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