So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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