What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My penis needs a shock collar
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize