It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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