we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She bit a glass in half.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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