he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
