Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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