Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
