One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
