OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
