i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
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