He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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