I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
